There was a point in my life where I had a healthy respect and relation to boys. My ideas about marriage was to marry my best guy friend and marriage is pure, simple, and very platonic.  That all changed come about the 7th grade. My thoughts turned to lust and sensual towards young men. I was thinking about what the perfect guy was in my head-strong, very muscular, and ultimately sexy. This was based on essentially unattainable good looks that few men can achieve naturally. It really screwed with my head and this was at a time where most of my peer group was going though massive bodily changes due to puberty. My lust also led to other things like looking at naked men on the internet especially the guys that I have previously described. This happened about the same time as the lustful thoughts.  My parents had the typical birds and the bees talk and told me to “wait til marriage” without much explanation. Which would of persuaded me to do so but as my previous post mentioned I did not. They also never mentioned lust and how it can change how we view the opposite sex. In fact, nobody mentioned this to me until I was a junior in college and my pastor at my current church was preaching about it.  I also got disappointed with how “average” guys looked.  I remember the first time I saw a naked guy was the summer after 8th grade. This guy was a good friend of my at the time that I had a thing for. We were at his house and his parents weren’t there. Then out of nowhere he stripped down. My eyes laid upon his nude body and it was nothing like what I had seen via the internet. I felt like why did I feel so let down. That prompted me to go nude as well. This only led to fingering and making out. I wish someone had told me that the male body it not typically like the stuff you see on the internet. I probably not have been disappointed and I wouldn’t of ended up in a situation with my guy friend. I would of just walked away from the situation. I also wouldn’t have fallen for the trap of lust and sensuality. If someone had told me about the perils of some of this stuff I would of stayed on the straight and narrow.